It's been almost a year...

since i last blogged. And a lot of things have changed.
You know when you used to go back and read what you wrote on xanga... and found out how actually immature and dumb you are... yeah it happened again haha, so i decided to write a "more mature" blog entry about what's been going on.

A bunch of freshmen and Sunroot, Mike and me went to a park last night and the topic of "favorite memory" came. Everyone started stating really fun ones (skate estate, tickling Will) but I couldn't think of anything. I must say that I didn't have a REALLY fun year (unlike freshman year) but it was memorable. I ended up telling Mike and Sunroot that my favorite memory was when Slim left... and I felt like I didn't "need" him anymore. NOT saying he wasn't a terrific guy and such, but I was just too dependent on him (and other seniors as well). At that moment, I understood that it was time to take care of other people, not just stay "Gary the freshman" forever.

I've finished half of my term as IVCF's Large Group Coordinator and it was a challenge. I had a terrific committee but it was nothing I had ever done. I, the same Gary from freshman year, NEVER was in charge of things, but then i was thrust into this position, relying alot on God's mercy. This semester/year was alot about growing up... and learning what it meant to be a man of God (I have two years Christina!). I'm really looking forward to how God will grow me in the years to come and how I can serve the people around me.

I am also looking forward to this summer thought because it brings different challenges: my family, something I've struggled with since before time began and the missionfield in China. I'll probably write another blog entry to talk about this summer... because I'm really hoping that it will be a life-changing summer. Alright, thats it. Please pray for me. =]

"As guys, we fail sometimes in this fellowship, but as men, we fail alot"
[thanks for putting up with us, sisters!]

Gary Chow

Yeah... i don't use this blog alot...

Summer has been weird. The first month, i basically did nothing and my parents yelled at me for being a loafer and i stayed home all day watching tv relaxed... Now that i'm working, i'm really really tired everyday and the long hours kill my social life. I don't get enough sleep so i get cranky at my kids (who are 4-5 years old) and i come home and barely have time to talk to anyone online. I also have to help out coaching volleyball on Saturdays and church on Sundays so i feel really disconnected with people, especially Binghamton peeps. Sorry about that.
I'm hoping to catch up with Bing ppl soon but i don't know how thats gonna work out, with this dumb schedule... sigh. I've already thought about sophomore year!!!!! at Bing and i'm so excited but i've also been learning the importance of staying in touch with home church friends. We'll see how it balances... in a month! gah! I can't wait to see you guys, hopefully before school starts and i look forward to another wonderful year =]

haha.. o and i got my money back, if you guys are still interested! =P

FREAKING REGISTRAR!

Alright so this has been on my mind a lot...
So a lot of you have asked me about my summer session problems. Well the thing is, i was supposed to take summer session I because my parents wanted me to. The class was psych stats and i scrambled around (as some of you know) to get the book and started studying for the first test which was a Thursday. I mailed in a payment form (freaking 800 dollars). I applied late so i had to mail in the appropriate forms, like late add petitions and stuff. I sent that stuff in on a Monday and i called them Wednesday to see if they have received the forms. They said they hadn't so i told them to cancel everything because my test was the next day and i couldn't take it because i wasn't registered on blackboard. The woman told me "ok" and then made me wait... and then i was waiting... and then the phone clicked.
So i called back and another woman said that the office was really busy and i should call back another day. So i wake up Thursday at 9 to check if i was registered, which i wasn't, so i missed the test and went back to sleep. I get a letter Monday saying that i owe them 30 dollars because i applied late. In my head, "o shoot" so i check blackboard and guess what? i'm registered. It was past their office hours so i decided to call them the next morning. I sent an email to my professor (which Josh suggested) to ask if i could have a makeup exam if anything. She said no. So i called the next morning explaining to them the situation. They said all I could do right now is submit a late drop petition and get my professor to send them a letter saying i had nothing to do with the class. They said nothing about a refund... and i've been fuming this whole week!
So i just explained the situation to my father and he seemed calm... i'm not sure if he understands the situation at all but i feel really bad because this is wasting my parents 800 dollars and i haven't told my mother yet and arggg things haven't been going well with her. This is just another thing for her to get angry at me for. So i am going to call tomorrow morning to see if they received the petition and letter and try to calmly explain the situation and see what i could do... for now i wait... =[

Shoutout

Honestly this is only because i haven't written in here for a long time and i didn't want it to go to waste! Enjoy! =P and these aren't real shoutouts... seriously guys...

Shoutouts (to everyone who actually reads Blogger):
Mike for forcing me to write this blog entry and hanging out with me on Friday
Boaz for offering his place on Friday (can me and Mike come over Friday?) and offering to help me with my arrangement when i gave up
Josh for putting the idea of blogs into my head and forcing me to comment on his wife beater post =.= really josh...really?
Florence for actually making me consider a job with Vector really Flo... really?
Tammy for planning that great beach hang out day that i am very sorry for not going to =]

anyone else want one?

haha... wow i'm bored...

Family

...is #%*#K%$J! hard

Recently i've been feeling a lot of stress and anger from my family, partly because i moved back home for the summer, and honestly i don't know how to deal with it. In the past, i would just do what my sister does, get angry and fight back. But i made it a priority to show them that i've changed and matured in college... not going so well.

I became the rebellious child, talking back to my parents when i didn't like something. Honestly, it comes from a good place and i don't want them to get angry but something in the middle messes it all up (language barriers, age differences). I don't know what to do because i KNOW that God is telling me to fix up this family but it's been really hard. My patience and anger tolerance gets tested every single day. I'm not used to it because i would rarely get angry up there at Binghamton. I want to obey God and be a good son and help us to become a more spiritual family but all the steps i've taken so far... are not going anywhere.

And i haven't been the best son at all, when it comes to academically or setting a good example for my sister. I don't like to look back but just reflecting on it, i understand why my mom cried for two days after i told her my GPA. It broke my heart to see my mom so angry at me because i was angry at myself but she wouldn't understand how much i hate myself sometimes. I hate that i can't be that perfect son of hers who gets high grades and speaks Mandarin and doesn't get temper problems like all of her friends' sons. Now what i can do is try harder in school but it won't erase how much my mom had to go through for us and how i knew it all along but didn't give a crap. So many years of thinking i don't do anything wrong has flipped and i feel sucky. How can i say that i'm a "good Christian" up at Bing when i can't down at home?

Wow this is a lot for just a post... especially since i don't talk about my family a lot but yeah... i heard this is what blogging is for...

josh is my blog ghost writer

greetings from gary!

i'm going to be very bored this summer if i don't give myself something to do. therefore i am going to start a blog. i know what you're thinking..."man, this guy is such a follower!" but i started reading some other people's blogs and realized that i have a lot to say too! so, i am going to start this thing and see how it goes. so, read my posts, leave me comments, and wish me luck!

(thanks josh for customizing the whole site and writing my first post)